Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
