But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize