I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
