Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
