i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
