I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
