Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
