when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
