So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
