Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sponge bath it is.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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