Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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