I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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