I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm just crazy horny about you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
