That's intense
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
