I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
should my penis look like a turkey
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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