My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
