like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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