You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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