are you still at the devil's house?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize