The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
