Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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