I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
