just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
