So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
