After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
