i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
