Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
