i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
