Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize