Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
