Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
