Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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