You smell like stripper and shame
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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