Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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