Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
