I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
