There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
