I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
