3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize