Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now

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(514): View more from Quebec

Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.

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(443): View more from Maryland

the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.

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(619): View more from California

No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist

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(520): View more from Arizona

I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls

(907): View more from Alaska

Dude you promised

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