i may or may not be watching the land before time
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
