Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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