Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize