Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
