found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Terrible idea I love it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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