You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
