I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
