so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
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