Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
