loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
