So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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