How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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