Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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