My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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