I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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