We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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