Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
