why do cheetos always look like penises
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
