Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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