a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
