I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
