Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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