At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
